So the last 4 weeks have been kind of a cluster, so to speak, around here. Our family vehicle started making a wonderful noise. Hubby looked at it, thought he knew what it was and so we took it in to be fixed. Alas, what we thought was wrong was NOT wrong...it was a MUCH bigger problem. A $7k+ problem. The transmission was a ticking timebomb and, in that particular vehicle, the transmission apparently can NOT be rebuilt or anything, it MUST be purchased from Ford. UGH. AND...upon further review, it is common for this type of tranny to die at the 62-65k mile mark. I guess we were lucky to make it 67k. But alas, the fix was so very pricey and, hell, the same problem would likely pop up again. So, we traded it in (yup, got some trade value for it despite the problem!) for something newer (and our mechanic suggested we do this, did NOT push the fix on us like some would!). Not brand new, but a 2011 model so about 2 years old. More room to accommodate my son's lengthening legs, among other things.
But oh if that were only the least of our worries...
Which brings me to a subject that tends to get a lot of airtime these days...bullying. We see so many stories on TV about kids who kill themselves after being bullied yet NOTHING is really being done to address or rectify the problem. I mean, I always told my kids if they acted like that I would personally kick their asses. But not all parents do that...not all parents give a damn what their kids do...not all parents teach their kids to respect others and treat others the way they wish to be treated themselves. Some parents coddle their kids and feel they can do no wrong so whatever is going on HAS to be the fault of the other person/people involved.
My 15 y/o has been the target of bullies. For years. All verbal, nothing physical aside form one incident (which happened 2 years ago, but we were just made aware of last week). It has been reported to the school. Actions taken include seating arrangements on the bus (where a majority of the bullying occurs), talking-to by administration and one boy actually did get suspended for a few days last year for one particular infraction. Unfortunately, these actions have done nothing to sway the bullies...to get them to stop tormenting my child. While we were aware of some things, my daughter did not tell us 100% of what was going on, as she was trying to deal with it herself. Unfortunately, it all built up inside her and she very nearly became the next human interest story on the 6:00 news. One evening when we were out and about getting the boys to and from football practices, she took the opportunity she had being home alone and decided to take a bunch of benadryl to end her torment. Fortunately for everyone, she began to regret what she did, got scared and called 911 herself. She spent 2 nights in the hospital and a week in a mental health hospital being evaluated and counseled. And she will continue counseling for the foreseeable future. Even though these bullies...all boys, mind you....were "only" spewing words, those words took their toll. Name calling, poking fun at, rumor spreading. Some kids can shrug it off. I know I did. But my daughter's psyche is a lot more fragile. It got to her. The fact they were lectured and some of them punished and they still did not stop got to her. The fact one of the ring leaders got suspended and it did not stop. The fact that they think she "ruined their day" (their words to her) because she gave administration their names pissed them off. Her inner pillar of strength just crumbled, as if it were blown up with a large stick of dynamite. And she felt she was done. These boys were talked to yet again yesterday, and today they STILL insisted on tormenting her. I do not have what it takes to homeschool a high school student and my daughter says, right now anyway, she would not want to switch schools because she does have friends and a support system at her current school. A lot of the problems arise on the bus, so the next thought is to remove her from the bus. But then to that I say...why should SHE have to be inconvenienced because of a bunch of boys that can't behave themselves and act normally? So MY suggestion will be take the offenders off the bus. Riding the bus is not a right, it is a privilege. I think in the near future it will be time to meet with the parents, make them aware of what is going on then kick their asses off the bus unless and until they can control themselves. And also let them know that if anything....ANYTHING AT ALL...happens to my kid (or, by extension, my house/property, as some of these kids know where we live), those boys get the FIRST look. (update: this morning, she wanted to take the bus and we let her...she said nobody said a peep to her...won't hold my breath that it will keep up though...we shall see...)
This is something that has to STOP. And not just here, but EVERYWHERE. How many more kids out there are like my child? How many more kids will actually be successful at taking their own life because some jagoff kid feels they have the right to make someone else's life miserable? How many families will go through heartache because of some else's stupid, selfish, hateful actions?
I was also bullied. Made fun of. Whatever. I was the fat girl. The white girl. Didn't have a big house or a nice car. Did not have the newest $100 sneakers or designer shoes/jeans/purse. Did have big boobs so obviously I slept with everybody. I was one of the ones who was able to shrug it off. But so many kids and teens out there just can't do it. And they snap. Whether it is taking their own lives or conducting a mass shooting spree at their school. They snap. And it is all so very much preventable!!
To all the bullies out there: People may think words do not hurt, but they DO. What the hell gives you the right to call that girl a fat ass? or call that boy a fag? Who the hell made you so important that you get to dictate who matters and who doesn't?? What the hell gives you the right to make some else's life miserable?? If you are unhappy with yourself, fix it...don't project it on others. It's not right and it's not fair. And to the parents of the bullies: raise your kid right. Teach them respect. Take responsibility for creating mature, responsible members of society. And if you find out your kid is doing something like this, take steps to correct it. Punish them. Don't coddle them. Don't make excuses for them. Don't be their friend, be their PARENT.
To all parents: make sure to keep communication open with your kids. encourage them to come to you with anything and everything. And even if you think they do, keep digging deeper. Our daughter told us everything, even the smallest most unimportant thing...but she was keeping something much bigger to herself. We never knew. Sometimes, you just won't see it. But always, always keep trying! Maybe you will be able to get them to open up. And maybe that will stop them from doing something drastic later on.
